Broke + Single = No dates

Bonjour Tout le Mode =D!!!

Today’s post has been inspired by my Facebook friends, G.R.E.A.T Scott and Vivian N. Their morning post was on the topic of Love & Relationships but from an angle that not many of us are openly talking about. Can a relationship work when there’s no money, car or stability? Think about it now…. I am sure many of us have stories about loving someone so much that money didn’t matter, their love was enough. That last line was actually the staring sentence to one of the posts, “… I’ve been in one relationship where I could honestly say love was enough.” (Scott, 2014) He continues on to say that finance, basically, enables or disables a man to finding and dating someone. It’s sad but true I’ve been around women who discredits a man a efforts or defames his character because he doesn’t make enough. I remember a cousin of mine cussing out a boy , who came to her house to take her out, because he wasn’t driving it was so bad I felt sorry for him.  It’s not just females who think like this, I once dated a really cool guy who expressed to me that dating an unemployed woman is a burden. I’ve heard a friend say he prefers to date a females who have their own means of transport because it’s less stress on him. A client once shared with me that he rather buy sex, or “trick-off” than to date a female who is looking for a free meal and have no real interest in him. In as much I can understand their points, what about the person? Does one’s character, maturity, views on life, ambitions and demeanor mean anything anymore?

Reciting from the quote Vivian posted, ” ‘No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some was you have to bend, compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater…’ ” – Sarah Dessen It is true sound. We often look for that “perfect” relationship, whatever that is, but not look for the goodness in a person and discussing with self what it is you are willing to tolerate. No person is perfect, we all have flaws. The ideal mate will compliment you, add to your strengths and build on your weakness. Something money isn’t involved in, per se. Yet, the times we’re living in, everyone is independent and don’t really need a steady partner for life, a substitute lover will make do. What happened with the dating to courtship to marriage formula? What is this half-ass logic we are rationalizing? I have disposable income and I will date multiple people or I only have money to pay bills so I can’t date anyone. What is that about? Can someone living on a budget find their soulmate? Or is it only allowed for those who have the money to spurge, can meet & mate with someone? What is our priorities when it comes to the mating game? Don’t act like it is not a game. People’s intentions for meeting someone varies and changes, like Georgia’s weather, it’s not consistently one way. Are we dating to meet our life-partner or are we looking for the next hot thing to warm up to. Spring is coming and I know people are waking up from hibernation and ditching their winter snuggle for the spring fling. That has nothing to do with love.

What is love in these modern times? In saying that, I hear Tina Turner’s song, “What’s Love Got To Do With It” in my head, valid point that’s still relevant to this day. If all that matters in a relationship is money, how many of us are in relationships? or want to be in one? I am a hopeless romantic who believes in love being stronger than monetary contributions but then that Halle Berry scene, from ‘Boomerang’, comes to mind where she’s a art teacher in love with Marcus who is in love with sex and money. These mis-match pairs always come together in movies but in real life… slim chance. Nice guys generally lose to the prick with the flash fame. Yes, being broke is a state of mind not all relates to money. Some big ballers go broke fast and all that came with the money leaves just as fast, but if there’s genuine love someone may stick around and be apart of the come-back. Too bad I don’t hear a lot of those stories. Too many are wanting a hand-out oppose to a helping hand. As the saying goes, “a friend in need is a friend indeed” and it’s that friend who we either marry or overlook and they get married to someone else who recognize their blessing and seized it.

I am single, not broke yet I find myself dating and supporting, partly finance and emotional support, men who don’t recognize nor appreciate my efforts. That mon amies is ass backwards and another discussion =) knowing when to gracefully bow-out…

Au revoir!!!

SHOUT OUTS!!!  Merci Beaucoup Ms. Vivian N. and  Mr. G.R.E.A.T Scott you both really sparked something in a lot people, including me, to get engaged in this need to know topic. Much love and Respect.

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