Pretend Boyfriends

Bonjour Tout le Mode!!!

The other night I was out having drinks with a dear friend of mine, listening to his exciting dating adventures and nibbling on our gourmet appetizers he jokingly told me that he was my “boyfriend“. “Ha! You’re my What?!?!?!” I said trying not to regurgitate my liquid dinner of some dark chocolate stout looking lager. He calmly repeated himself and proclaimed to be my “boyfriend”.  All I could say at that moment was, “OK” with a quick laugh but I felt a slight disappointment. Damn, how did I get a boyfriend without being asked? Was I even there to agree to the proposed agreement? Just my luck, I’ve missed being asked to be someone’s girlfriend and just became it. Ha! Call me a hopeless romantic but I would like to be asked to be a guys’ girlfriend. =)

Jokes aside, what exactly is the role of this substitute lover? Are there obligations that’s expected to be met? Is it a cross-breed between friend with benefits and jump-off/rebounder? Or is it another description under the big ass umbrella of what we call, “a friend” who we “kick it” with? It’s a term that’s synonymous with so many titles that I get confused. Both men & women have this stand-in partner, but who is this person?

I remember hearing females talk about their “fake boyfriend” and how awesome he may be and blah, blah, blah… They would speak of the guy as if he was a life-sized Ken doll – anatomically challenged and all. Usually those females were referring to their homosexual friend or their platonic home-boy. {which doesn’t make my analogy too far off} They would do everything together except for having sex; even tough it was never the guy who they really desired to be with and build a family.
On the contrary to the ladies version, I don’t recollect hearing any guys talk about their “pretend girlfriends” or being a relationship that’s based on an illusion of what they ideally want. However, there is talk of “the girl” someone is seeing at that time or been seeing for some time. Generally in these cases, with men, they are more than likely having sexual relations with their home-girl. They might even go out from time to time doing some fun couple-like activities, like going shopping, clubbing or to the movies. She may even know a friend of his, maybe two, probably been to his job or over his hangout spot.

So what’s REALLY going on??? What are we doing? Where’s the line, a fine line, that defines our engagements with these people who are temporary aides to our need for closeness? They are providing a form of love and comfort, like a server at fine dining restaurant; They are there to create a pleasant atmosphere, tend to our needs and meet our expectations. I’ve come to realize that these companions of convenience may, or may not be the actual lover. In some cases the ideal mate is the bedroom buddy, the one who is only around until the sun comes up, maybe spend a weekend somewhere away from the common folk. {like my apartment, Ha!} Is it crazy to know that the homey tender roni is the modern fix to the primal lust and the natural instinct we, as humans, all act upon… SEX!!!

We’ve stepped back into the era of sexual-liberation, for a lack of a better choice of words. =) That’s where, I believe, this concept of a stand-in partner came to fruition in the 21st century. An addition to our list of conveniences, the world is moving so fast that a “friend with benefits” to full-fill our innate carnal pleasures is now a healthy release of frustration and can lead to a happy long-life. Yet on the flip-side, isn’t this misleading? With the English language, there are so many words with double meanings it leaves room for misinterpretations of one’s true intent. How happy will one be in old age with no one really there to share the golden days? I mean, how can you solely trust and build with stability with someone you pretend to deeply care for? Do we factor in that other person may, or may not, what to be around in the long run? Isn’t sort of unfair to invest time, energy and thought on something, and someone who’s just the understudy to the main character? Do you we even have an idea of who the co-star to our life movie is?
Let me know your thoughts!

Au revoir mon amie!!! *kiss, kiss*


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