Today a friend of mine shared with me the heartache of a relationship that is open yet operates as a committed relationship.
Now, both parties are sexually attracted to each other but are not exclusive. They hang out, at each others place. They share intimate thoughts and experiences with each other. They even party at the same places, but they did not arrive or depart together.
As time progressed feelings grew, natural thing in human beings, and expectations became regular and mandatory. One person expressed the desire to be exclusive yet the latter shys away on the matter and prefers to keep the title as friendship.
As result they separate but still are communicating; as if they did not demoted their relationship. As they are “apart” from each other they are still seeing other people but they are consumed with thoughts of what the other is doing? Or not doing? “Is she with that dude from the bar tonight?” “I saw him talk to that girl with the big butt, is he talking to her now?” My question is, what is purpose for plaguing your mind with such thoughts and wrap your emotions around the unknown? Is it to control the other person or the act of trying to control the situation? Listening to my friend reminded me of the episode of Sex and the City, where Samantha was in Las Vegas, Nevada with her girls and her beau (Richard). Richard and Samantha had an interesting open relationship where they honestly loved each other but enjoyed sleeping with other people. While on this trip, Richard was up in the penthouse suite while Samantha was down in the casino with the girls. Before she left for the casino, she saw the sexy housekeeper go in the hotel room. She spent majority of her time in the casino thinking about what Richard, might be, doing in the hotel room. So, she left her girls and ran up the stairs to the penthouse, elevators was talking a long time to her, in her pearl thongs. She bursted open the doors to find Richard on his laptop doing working. Through her panting and catching her breath she broke off their relationship; “Samantha, I love you,” said Richard “I love you too, but I love me more,” said Samantha. Thus that’s my point. Do you love yourself enough to chose you over the person whom you love?
So back to my friend, I suggest a complete separation… What do you suggest?This is a situation that is all too common of today’s mating game ,so to speak. Does people date anymore? What is courtship, does it exist anymore? What are the elements that make up a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship?
Let me know!!!